Saturday, September 20, 2008

Top Ten Jobs for Which Sarah Palin Would Be Really Qualified

10. CIA operative, particularly in Saudi Arabia, where she could cross her shapely legs and seductively troll for information from sheiks who don’t usually get to see their wives’ knees on a daily basis.

9. Tour Guide for hunters who want to bag a moose or bear and help Alaska rid itself of those pesky protected species getting in the way of oil drilling.

8 Pilot for hunters who want to do their shooting from a Cessna. Another way to clear the place. Might even get in a shot or two while on autopilot, using an assault rifle of course.

7. Sunday School Teacher preaching Creationism to all those kid who might have missed learning about it in their Alaskan classrooms.

6. Television talk show host since Sarah loves to talk. She may even stop to listen to guests once in a while.

5. Newspaper advice columnist, Dear Sarah, offering advice on relationships, family, sex and raising children. Sarah could also reach a wider audience for her abstinence before marriage message – and perhaps come up with solutions when it fails (shotgun wedding?).

4. Soap opera actress. Her life already is a soap opera, and she learns lines well.

3. Lobbyist. Let’s face it: a woman with her face and figure could convince a lot of people (make that “men” people) to change a vote. And I bet she would work very hard at doing her convincing.

2. Used car salesperson. Maybe planes too. Since they don’t always move on eBay, she could be a private sales agent selling used cars (and planes). Should she include bridges? Umm.

1. Finally! The job for which Sarah may be truly best suited: Hold your hats, folks! Community Organizer! Yes, you heard correctly. Community organizer! Her controlling personality combined with persistence, pushiness, (hey, sarcasm too!) could be directed toward getting relief for poor people in communities.

No comments: